


the most exciting thing I'd ever known

by thesassassin



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Anal Sex, Anxiety, Backupsmore University, Cuddling, Denial, Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons, First Time, Fluff, I AM A BEACON OF SIN, I'm sorry Mum, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Top Fiddleford H. McGucket, college gays, minimal angst bc I just want them to be Happy, virgin ford
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 13:39:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8251055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesassassin/pseuds/thesassassin
Summary: in which ford is Definitely Not Gay, fidds Definitely Is, and they're definitely gonna fuck"Look, who hasn’t had gay thoughts? Who?" - Ben Wyatt, Human Disaster





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: instant ramen was known as cup o'noodles until 1993
> 
> another fun fact: I know literally nothing about dungeons and dragons or calculus; all information about those subjects in this fic come from me briefly skimming their respective Wikipedia pages
> 
> fun fact 3: my computer is currently dead af so I'm posting this from my phone, hence the weird formatting and probable typos

"You enter the cavern and look around for the enchanted sword. the light from your lantern catches on something - it's the eyes of a _ten-foot tall spider demon_!"  
Fiddleford slams the demon playing piece down on the board with more force than necessary, almost knocking their snack bowl onto the carpet. Ford smirks and reaches for the dice.  
"I roll to fuck the demon," he says.  
"It's a _spider_ , Ford. where are you gonna put your dick?"  
Ford raises a challenging eyebrow. "Hey, I let you fuck Cthulhu in the last campaign."  
"Fair enough." Fidds hands him the dice with a long-suffering sigh. Ford weaves them between his fingers and lets them drop to the floor.  
"...2. What does that get me?" Fidds leafs through his pile of campaign notebooks. "You attempt to win over the spider-demon with your tales of daring adventure and your rock-hard abs, but it isn't impressed. It tries to ensnare you in its poisonous web, and you must either flee the cave or risk death."  
"I go in for a kiss?" Ford tries. Fidds rolls his eyes, grinning, and nods. Ford rolls the dice again; it lands on a 38. "You kiss the spider and it instantly falls in love with you."  
"Groovy. Okay, I ask my new spider-wife where the Sword of Light is."  
"Ford, it's a spider. It can't talk."  
"You let me seduce a spider-demon that I can't even talk to? What kind of DM are you?" They're both laughing now. Fidds shoves a handful of chips in his mouth and holds the bowl out to Ford.  
            The game lasts another hour or so. Ford's bard manages to find the Sword of Light - though he has to tragically slay the spider-demon in order to do so - and uses it to hack his way through the forest of lost souls, only to die spectacularly in the talons of a giant eagle. It's the most fun Ford's had all semester; he manages to forget about the stress of classes and some combination of Mountain Dew and Fidds' laughter and the bluegrass record playing at a low volume in the background turns Fiddleford's dorm room into a kind of liminal space, like they're both on the verge of crossing into some new plane. Or maybe it's the fact that Ford hasn't slept in three days and his bloodstream is more caffeine than plasma right now.  
          Fidds yawns and stretches his arms over his head, and Ford busies himself with packing up the game pieces to distract himself from the way Fidds' shirt rides up and exposes the waistband of his underwear.   
"Want the last chip?" Fidds asks.  
"Nah, you can have it." Ford gets unsteadily to his feet and catches sight of the clock; it's after 3 am. "Shit, I didn't realize how late it was. I should go to bed."  
Fidds sidles towards him, close enough that Ford almost forgets to breathe. "Want some company?"  
Ford's whole body freezes up and he blinks rapidly, trying to assess the situation because there's no way Fiddleford can mean what it sounds like he means but what else can he mean, and it's not like Fidds has kept his sexuality a secret but he's never come on to Ford before, does he _know_? he _can't_ know, Ford's been so careful his whole time at Backupsmore, he's been so careful around Fidds, there's no way he can _know_... Ford manages to keep a lid on his internal stress spiral and just say, "What?", because there's a good chance he misheard or misinterpreted.  
"Ford, I know you're gay, and I know there's something between us. Something more than just friendship. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but you-"  
"Y-you're wrong," Ford says with less conviction than he'd like. Fidds definitely looks skeptical, so he presses on, "I'm not like you, I'm not... I need to go to bed. to sleep." Ford avoids Fidds' gaze as he leaves his room. He feels like utter shit, but it was the best way to handle things. Because he's not gay, and he's not into Fidds. He repeats it in his head like a mantra, _I'm not into Fidds I'm not into Fidds I'm not into Fidds_ , and by the time he's back in his own room he's almost convinced himself that it's true. Because, sure, Fidds is attractive enough, he supposes, if you're into that kind of thing (if you like tall guys with soft hair and a biting sense of humor and a mind that's as brilliant as yours), and there's a difference between being able to tell that another man is good-looking and being gay, and Ford definitely falls into the former camp. Definitely. Appreciating a man's looks doesn't make him gay, and imagining how said man might be in bed doesn't necessarily make him gay, either. Getting off to thoughts of being in bed with a man might,  _technically_ , make him gay, but Ford's had a lot of experience with lying to himself about this topic. He can't look Fiddleford in the eye the next day, but Fidds seems to be avoiding him as well so it's less of a problem than he'd imagined.

           The day after that, ford gets breakfast in the dining hall as usual and Fidds sits at his table and it would seem like everything's back to normal. Except Fidds is wearing a shirt that definitely doesn't belong to him, and his hair is more ruffled than usual and there's a dark bruise on his neck.  
"Who's the lucky guy?" Ford asks, keeping his voice light. _I'm not into Fidds I'm not into Fidds I'm not into Fidds_.  
Fidds has an expression on his face that Ford can't quite read as he says, "Jimmy - you know, the cute redhead from quantum mechanics II."  
Ford makes an approving sound and busies himself with his toast. This is far from the first time they've had a conversation like this, but this time it makes something sharp and ugly flare up in his chest.  
          Ford doesn't avoid Fidds after that, not exactly. He stops going to their Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons nights, but only because his course load is really starting to catch up to him and he needs to spend more time studying. He starts eating meals in his dorm room instead of the dining hall, but that's for the same reason. and, okay, he strategically plans his library trips at times when he knows he won't run into Fidds there, but that's because of a totally legitimate reason that has nothing to do with the fact that he hasn't been able to look at Fidds the same way since That Night. he isn't sure what the reason _is_ , but there is one.

          Ford successfully Doesn't Avoid Fidds for the rest of October, and most of November. When thanksgiving approaches, Ford signs up to stay on campus like he did last year. Most people go home for the long weekend, but Ford isn't eager to spend time with his parents. Besides, it's nice to not be constantly surrounded by people for a change. Last year he and Fidds holed up in their dorm room and played a marathon game of DD&MD that lasted all weekend... _Shit_. Is Fidds staying on campus this year as well? It's likely. And it's not a problem, Ford assures himself, because he's Not Avoiding Fidds. It won't be the end of the world if they run into each other.  
            Ford has a physics lab due the week after thanksgiving, so the four-day break from classes is a good opportunity to write it up. He gets so absorbed by it that he spends a full thirty hours in his room by mistake, and when he eventually resurfaces it's early evening and his stomach is growling.  
     The dining hall is closed, but the on-campus bookstore isn't and sells granola bars and instant Cup O' Noodles. Ford stocks up on both and munches on a granola bar as he heads back across the campus to his dorm.  
"Ford! hey!" Fiddleford intercepts him halfway across the quad. "I haven't seen you in a while!"  
"Hi, Fidds." Ford does his best to the familiar fluttery feeling in his stomach at the sight of his friend. "Sorry I about game night, I've been really busy with work. Theoretical physics is kicking my ass this semester."  
"Ugh, tell me about it." Fidds falls into step beside Ford, like the awkwardness of the past month never happened. "Who do you have? McKinley?"  
"Yeah. You'd think a guy who was stoned all the time would be an easier grader."  
Fidds barks a laugh. "Oh, speaking of ass-kicking, are you still taking fifth-dimensional calc?"   
"Yeah, but I think I'm going to drop it once the semester's over. It's kinda easy."  
Fidds shoots him the _you-smart-asshole glare_. "Okay, wise guy. Feel like helping me out with the homework?"  
Ford hesitates, but it's comforting to pretend that everything's normal between them and maybe if he acts like that for long enough things will just clear up. "Sure. What are you stuck on?"  
"Hyper-differentials using Leibniz's notation."  
"Ooh, fun!"  
"You smart asshole."  
They've reached the dorm building now, and head to the elevator.  
"Want me to take a look at it now? I'm on a study break anyway."  
"Sure!" Fidds hits the button for his floor. Their conversation peters out, replaced by the metallic screeching of the elevator. Fidds is fidgeting with his shirt collar, and Ford's reasons for Not Avoiding him come back in full force. _I'm not into Fidds I'm not into Fidds I'm-_ The doors jerk open. Fidds' room, 618, is just across the hall from the elevator. Ford hasn't been here since That Night.  
"Hang on, let me find the textbook..." Fidds hunts through a pile of papers on his desk, then moves to the piles on the floor surrounding it. His entire side of the room is an explosion of blueprints and journal articles; Ford would wonder how Fidds could possibly find anything in the mess if he hadn't roomed with him freshman year and learned his complex filing system.  
"Here we go!" Fidds emerges from under his bed, holding the textbook aloft. "It was this problem set, I got stuck on number 5."  
Ford glances at the textbook page, then at Fidds' work. "Oh, okay, I see where you went wrong. The limit equation here only applies in two dimensions, but the question is asking about all five, so you need to switch f'..."  
       Fidds nods along and manages to solve the problem himself once Ford helps him rewrite it.  
"Well, I should get back to my lab report," he says, already edging towards the door.  
Fidds sighs. "Ford, are you still mad at me?"  
"What? No. I'm not mad at you, Fidds."  
"Really? 'Cause you've been avoiding me for a while now." Ford is frozen, unable to muster a response, and Fidds plows on, "Look, I know it made you uncomfortable when I - when I hit on you, but I thought you'd forgiven me. I thought we could keep being friends."  
"We're still friends, Fidds." _Aren't we?_ "I've just been busy, that's all." Ford really should just leave it at that, but for some reason his traitorous mouth decides to add, "Besides, you can always hang out with Jimmy, since the two of you get along so well."  
Fidds looks utterly bewildered. "What? Ford, that was a one night thing, I don't - what on earth - why do you care, anyway?"  
"I..." Ford's close enough to the door that he could make a run for it, just bolt out and be in the elevator before Fidds could catch up to him. Instead, the word vomit of treachery continues, and he finds himself admitting, "I was jealous, okay?"  
"Jealous? Of me and him? Ford, you turned me down. You said you weren't interested in me. Why would you be jealous?"  
Ford licks his lips nervously. "Fidds, you know I'm not good with people."  
"That's an understatement," Fidds mutters.  
Ford snorts. "Yeah. Look, I had no idea you were interested in me that way until you told me, so I was thrown off, and I...I've been lying about who I am since I was a kid. I never even told my own twin. So it, it was just easier to keep lying and tell you I didn't swing that way. I should have said yes when you asked, and I'm sorry I didn't, and I don't blame you for sleeping with someone else. I'm not mad at you, Fidds. If anything I'm just angry at myself."  
Fidds just stared at him blankly through his whole confession, but now he takes a step forward with an odd glint in his eye. "So are you saying you are interested in me, after all?"  
"Yes. I am."  
Fidds smirks, moves even closer. "Well, in that case, my offer still stands."  
Ford's mouth falls open. "I-" He knew, logically, what he was in for when he started this conversation, but Fidds' words still blindside him.  
When he doesn't respond, Fiddleford's smile morphs from seductive to gentle. "Ford, it's okay if you don't have a lot of experience. We can go as slow as you want, start out with a dinner date or-"  
"I want you to fuck me." The words slip out before Ford can stop himself.  
"-or that..." Fiddleford looks as shocked as Ford feels. "Ford, are you sure?"  
"I'm sure."  
"Okay. Uh, have you bottomed before?"  
"No. I've never even kissed a man before," Ford admits, and Fiddleford's eyes go wide. He curls his fingers in Ford's shirt collar.  
"D'you wanna change that?"  
"Yes," Ford breathes, and then Fiddleford is kissing him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dicks ft. anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if the movie version of return of the king can have multiple ending scenes then so can this fic

Fidds' mouth is warm and tastes like coffee, and his hands are tangling in Ford's hair and for what might be the first time in Ford's life he stops thinking entirely and gets lost in sensation, clinging to Fidds' shoulders. Fidds slides his tongue past Ford's lips and Ford makes a startled noise but wow, it feels nice. Fiddleford draws back enough to say, "Just say the word if you want to stop," and Ford nods breathlessly and presses his mouth back onto Fidds'. He isn't really sure how to do this, just tries to mimic the way Fidds moves his lips and tongue, and pulls Fidds closer so he's pressed more tightly against him. He twitches at the feel of Fidds' hands sliding under his shirt.  
"I love how responsive you are," Fidds murmurs, words tickling Ford's lips.  
"Your hands are cold."  
"You'll have to warm them up for me."  
Ford can't think of a clever response; he just gives a low groan and thrusts his hips against Fidds unintentionally. Fidds pulls off Ford's shirt, hands roaming over Ford's torso and setting his nerve endings on fire. he breaks the kiss and Ford is about to protest, but then Fidds' mouth is on his neck and it feels incredible. His stubble tickles slightly. High-pitched sounds are spilling out of Ford, breathy little moans that he barely recognizes as coming from himself, and when he feels teeth scrape his skin his whole body jolts like he's been shocked. He cautiously reaches for Fidds' waist and tugs at the bottom of his shirt.  
"You want it off?" Fidds asks. Ford nods. Fidds' smile is dangerous as he slowly unbuttons the shirt and lets it fall to the ground - _he's putting on a show for me,_ Ford realizes.  
"How 'bout this?" Fidds' hands are on his belt buckle now.  
Ford swallows. "Yeah," he says, and then adds, "Please."  
Ford goes hot all over watching Fidds unbuckle his belt and shimmy his pants down. The striptease effect is only slightly ruined by Fidds having to pause to take his shoes and socks off. Ford takes a moment to drink in the sight of Fidds' body: wiry muscles, light chest hair, cock visibly straining against his underwear.  
"Can I..." Ford hooks one finger in the waistband of Fidds' boxers.  
"You can do anything you want, darlin'." Ford's face heats up at the nickname. He carefully slides Fidds' boxers down and then kisses him again while even more carefully running his fingers over Fidds' cock. Fidds moans, and Ford feels the sound vibrate in his chest.  
Fidds gently steers Ford towards his bed and then goes to his bedside table, rummaging around in the drawer. Ford takes his pants off, wonders if that was the right thing to do, considers putting them back on, and is still holding them awkwardly in one hand when Fidds turns back around with a bottle of lube and a condom. Fidds stares at him unabashedly and Ford shrinks back under the scrutiny; the open desire on Fidds' face is flattering, but the haze of arousal has ebbed enough for his mind to realize that _you're in your underwear Fidds is looking at you and you're practically_ naked _and in his_ room _and you have no idea what you're doing this was a bad idea-  
_ "Ford?" Fidds takes his hand. "You still okay? D'you want to stop?"  
"No! No, I don't want to stop, this is good, it's _really_ good, I just, I - just, tell me what to do?"  
Fidds kisses him, hard and slow, and the look on his face when he pulls back is enough to make Ford forget what he was worried about.  
"The easiest way to do this is for you to lie down on your front..."  
Ford hesitates. "I want to be able to see you."  
Fidds swallows. "Okay, then you should be lying on your back."  
Ford lies back on the bed and Fidds follows, bracing his arms on either side of Ford. He trails a line of kisses along Ford's jaw, slides a hand down Ford's  
chest and stomach and cups Ford through his boxers, and Ford gasps and arches up into his touch.  
Fidds plants a kiss just below ford's ear and slips his hand under Ford's boxers. "Okay if these come off?"  
"Yeah."  
Ford lifts his hips up so Fidds can pull the garment off, and lifts his head to meet Fidds' mouth with his own. Fidds palms his cock again, and Ford bucks his hips and accidentally bites Fidds' lip.  
"Oh gosh, Fidds, I'm sorry, it was an accident..."  
Fiddleford grins. "I don't mind."  
"Really?"  
"It was actually kind of hot." Fidds' voice is pitched low. Feeling bolder, Ford mouths along Fidds' jawline, gently nipping at the skin there with his teeth. Fidds makes a pleased sound and lightly drags his fingers down the inside of Ford's thighs. "Can you spread your legs a little for me? Yeah, like that, move your knees up, that's good, you're doing great."  
Fidds strokes over his balls and circles his entrance, then pulls away to grab the lube. Ford whimpers at the loss of contact.  
"Don't stop," he says breathlessly.  
Fidds raises an eyebrow as he uncaps the bottle. "Trust me, you're gonna want lube."  
Fidds slicks up his fingers and then reaches between Ford's legs again.  
"This is gonna be a little uncomfortable, but tell me if it hurts, okay?"  
"Yeah."  
Fidds slides a finger inside him. 'Uncomfortable' is definitely the right word; it's not painful, just weird. Ford shifts his hips, adjusting to the sensation, and then Fidds adds another finger and hooks them in deeper and suddenly it feels _really_ good and Ford moans and tugs Fidds down so he can kiss him again. Fidds threads his free hand through Ford's hair, pulling slightly. Their cocks end up pressed together and Ford bucks his hips against Fidds', trying to get some friction. the action jostles the fingers inside of him and ford moans again, overwhelmed by pleasure.  
Fidds slides his fingers out of Ford's ass and unwraps the condom. "You still feeling good about this?"  
Ford tries to say "yes" and ends up saying "fuck me", but he's beyond caring at this point. He watches Fidds roll on the condom and lube himself up, and then he's positioning himself between Ford's legs and sliding inside with a low groan. Ford's breath hitches and he tilts his hips up to accommodate the new stretched feeling. It's just on the right side of painful, but it feels amazing.  
   It gets a little less amazing when Fidds just...stays there. Ford's new to this, but he's pretty sure there's supposed to be motion involved.  
"Fidds," he whines. "I'm a virgin, I'm not made of glass. _move_ already."  
" _Fuck_." Fidds starts thrusting into him. "You're so tight, you feel so good, _Ford_..."  
All Ford can manage in response is a constant "Fidds Fidds Fidds Fidds _Fidds_ ". His voice has dropped to a pitch he barely recognizes. Fidds wraps one hand  
around Ford's cock and strokes him in time to his thrusts and Ford makes a strangled sound as his hips jerk up.  
"Yeah, that's right," Fidds pants. "You're doing great darlin', you-"  
Ford cuts him off with a kiss; it's messy and their mouths aren't quite lined up but Ford doesn't care, he just wants to be as close to Fidds as possible, needs to touch as much of him as he can. Fidds drags his mouth down to Ford's neck, biting him there again and he's mumbling endearments and encouragements against Ford's skin and Ford's nearing the edge, heat building in his groin and his whole body tensing up. Fidds tightens his grip on Ford's cock and thrusts faster.  
"That's it. Come for me, Ford."  
And Ford moans helplessly and comes, and seconds later Fidds cries out and shudders inside him and then collapses on his chest.  
Ford gets his breath back enough to say, "Fidds, that was - oh my god..."  
Fidds gives him a lingering kiss and smiles. "yeah." He pulls out, leaving Ford feeling oddly empty, then stands up and ties off the condom. "I'll be right back."  
Ford isn't sure he could move right now even if he wanted to. A part of him still can't believe everything that just happened; but Fidds is back, and real, and holding a washcloth for some reason - oh. He's cleaning come off Ford's stomach and thighs, and Ford feels like he should help - it's his come, after all - but Fidds gently bats his hands away until he's done.  
"Thanks," Ford says.  
Fidds looks like he's trying not to laugh. "You're adorable."  
He grabs a pair of pajama pants from the floor and Ford has a moment of panic - _he's getting ready for bed am I supposed to leave does he want me to stay what do I_ do - until Fidds asks, "D'you want to borrow a shirt? I think most of my clothes'll be a little small on you, but we can probably work something out."  
"I - no, I'll be fine - I should stay?"  
"Ford!" Fidds looks a little horrified. "I'm not - did you really think I was going to kick you out of bed?"  
"I told you, I've never done this before, I don't know how everything's supposed to _work_."  
Fidds flops down next to him on the bed. "Well, I'm going to go to sleep, preferably using you as a pillow, although you're free to go back to your room if you'd rather."  
"I - I want to stay."  
"Good, 'cause I want you to stay."  
Fidds curls against Ford's side. Ford rolls over so he's facing Fidds. he drapes an arm over Fidds, pulling him close, and closes his eyes.

Ford's entire body is vaguely sticky when he wakes up. He should really shower. He tries to sit up, but there's something heavy on his chest keeping him pinned down. He cracks one eye open and sees that the weight is Fiddleford's upper body sprawled across his. Fidds' head is buried in his shoulder, breath tickling his neck a little, and their legs are tangled together. Fidds seems to still be asleep, and doesn't stir when Ford wraps both arms around him, keeping him in place. He isn't sure what time it is but it's still dark out, so probably too early to be getting up even if he was free to do so. Ford sighs contentedly and lets sleep reclaim him.

 The second time ford wakes, it's because Fidds is planting feathery kisses along his neck. Ford squirms and tightens his hold on Fidds.  
"'Morning," he says softly.   
"Mornin', beautiful," Fidds mumbles. "Sleep well?" his accent sounds thicker than usual.  
Ford nods, then remembers that Fidds can't see him. "Yeah. Could use a shower, though."  
"Mmm." Fidds' lips have reached his. the kiss is slow and soft, without any heat behind it. "Y'know, we could save water if we showered together."  
"Yeah?" Ford has an inkling of where this is going, and he's wholeheartedly on board.  
"Yeah." Fidds is kissing him between words. "Good for the, mmm, the environment, save money...all kinds of benefits."  
"Oh, yeah, benefits," Ford agrees.  
Fidds makes an attempt to sit up and ends up flopping back down on ford. "Ford, I can't get up unless you let go of me."  
"Don't wanna." Ford runs a finger down Fidds' spine.  
Fidds shivers and laughs. "Ford!"  
"Okay, okay." Ford relinquishes his hold on Fidds, who rolls over and sits up. Ford realizes that he no longer has to pretend not to stare when Fidds stretches.  
Fidds pauses in the doorway. "Shower?"  
Ford is a little ashamed of how quickly he scrambles out of bed to join him, but only a little. He could get used to this.


End file.
